Sunday, April 5, 2009

Dr. Artiste's Lefty Cure

I have found the best way to deal with an irrational lefty argument is just to laugh! As you are rolling around in hysterics, agree with them (sarcastically, of course). Don't argue. Use the soft karate method of battle, not the hard:

HA HA HO HO HA HA HAA! Spending 11 trillion dollars! That's the path to fiscal solvency! How brilliant can Tim Geithner be?! HAA HAAA HA! Maybe if we can find a Democrat who pays his taxes, we’ll be able to balance the budget! HE HE HO HO HA! I LOVE the idea of socialized medicine! We'll never have to worry about getting old, will we? We'll just accept our deaths without making a big deal about it like Tom Daschle says in his book "Critical". HE HE HE HE! A government committee will decide if we live or die...Won't that be GREAT?! I HATE making decisions like that on my own! HAHAHAHAHAAA! Oh, Yeah! That global warming stuff is sooo scienterrific, isn't it! HA HA HAA! Those alternate energy sources are really coming along, aren't they! I can't wait for the first windmill powered semi truck and the solar powered airliner! HEEE HEEE HAR HAR HAR!! (cough, cough, gasp!) But seriously, that Cap & Trade is going to be a boon to mankind...once we freeze to death 'cause we can't afford to pay our power bills! HA HA HA! No more worries about global warming then! HO HO HO HO HAA HAA HAAA! (choke, choke!) Oh, well, everything’s going to be just hunky-dory after Obama’s ACORN-trained AmeriCorps brownshirts take over! They’ll take care of those unruly crowds of angry taxpayers, won’t they! I’ll just need to learn to goosestep while I hold my stiff arm up! HA HA HE HE HE!

…You get the idea. Not only do you deliver your points in a non-threatening way, it makes the lefty feel silly. He may even start laughing WITH you! With Dr. Artiste’s Lefty Cure, you feel happier and healthier at the end of the conversation, rather than knotted-up with stress and anger. Laughter is definitely the best medicine, and we all need a prescription-strength dose these days.


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