Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Pelosi Is Certifiable

Last weekend's Nutroots Nation conference in Austin, Texas featured Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. She proclaimed, without a whit of sarcasm, that Nutroots and the internet would not have been possible without the genius of Algore. She still seriously believes that he's the inventor. Well, he did invent global warming out of thin air. We'll give him credit for that. But, y'know what? Pelosi is the third most powerful person in America, and she really creeps me out. I mean, look at her eyeballs. That's not normal. Men who have her stare are locked up. I have seen those eyeballs before in men who saw a little too much carnage while serving in Vietnam, and suffer severe flashbacks of headless Viet Cong chasing them. Women with her stare are generally paranoid schizophrenic, usually resulting from unquenchable nymphomania. I shudder to think about that possibility. Whatever the cause, she is undeniably one can short of a six-pack.


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