Subject: Why Leftists Think the Atlanta Falcons Actually Won the Super Bowl, by Charles Salter.
1. In collusion with Trump, the Russians hacked into the scoreboard and fraudulently posted points for the Patriots. 2. The "Patriots" do not deserve to win because their name is offensive to illegal immigrants and anti-American leftists. 3. The Patriots are obviously just a basket of racist, sexist, xenophobic deplorables who should check their privilege and surrender their trophy to the Falcons. 4. The Patriots have already won the Super Bowl previously. It's only fair that they redistribute their largesse to a team which has never won. 5. Any team which wins in "sudden death" overtime is violent and fascist and has no right to the Super Bowl trophy. 6. The Falcons were ahead for more minutes of the game and this statistic should count more than the final score. 7. All the referees who ruled for the Patriots against the Falcons should revoke those decisions and support the Falcons instead. 8. The fraudulent Patriot win has left millions of sports fans heart-broken and weeping. They need safe spaces, therapy dogs, and binkies until this unjust decision can be overturned. 9. Until the Falcons are rightfully proclaimed the real winners of the Super Bowl, globalist billionaires will continue to plan, organize, and fund "spontaneous, grass-roots" demonstrations, riots, and felonious assaults on any supporter of the Patriots that they can get their hands on.
Imagine there's no global warming It's all just been a lie CO2 is not a pollutant The Polar Bears aren’t gonna die Imagine all the people Livin' another day Imagine there's no Kyoto It isn't hard to do Gas at 99 cents a gallon And no carbon taxes too Imagine all the people Driving SUVs You may say I'm a denier But I'm not the only one 31,000 scientists Say the world’s climate follows the sun Imagine no politicians I wonder if you can No one to fear monger No need to eliminate man Imagine all the people Drilling all over the world You may say I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one I hope someday you'll join us And the world will be more fun
Who needs facts? Global warming is the state religion