(Sung to the tune of “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”)
The legend lives on from the Capital on down
Of the woman they call Speaker Nancy
The Speaker, it is said, filled the House with dread
When her eyes buggered out like a banshee’s.
She was second mate on the cruise ship of state
Known as the US Economy
The captain and crew were inexperienced too
And appeared to have recent lobotomies.
The ship carried a load, 12 trillion or so
Of deficit spending, weighed down
When the ship hit the storm of healthcare reform
Some passengers started to drown.
Captain O and his crew immediately knew
As the stern of the ship began sinking
With quick action now, they drilled holes in the bow
Spreading wealth equally was their thinking.
As they sank deeper in debt, everyone got wet
And the Captain they started to doubt
His advisors were dull, drilling more holes in the hull
To let the rising deficit drain out.
When this didn’t work, Cap’n O said with a smirk
This ship wasn’t seaworthy when I took it
The last captain, the old salt, this is all his fault
And if we drill more holes in her hull we can fix it.
To the lifeboats then, the passengers ran
But alas, their anxiety grew
For Cap’n O, with aplomb, in his great wisdom
Drilled holes in the lifeboat hulls too.
The US Economy went down with nary a sound
And took all of her sister ships with her
The SS Japan, Europe, and Afghanistan
All went straight down to Davy Jones’ locker.
The captain and crew, and Nancy Pelosi too
A “One Global Government” flag they unfurled
They had exempted their lifeboat and kept it afloat
And now rule over a poor drowning world.
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